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Matt and I had taken our relationship to the next level and everythng in my life seemed
to be great. Matt had to go away to Boston again for his job and I was starting school. That same week I got a phone call
from my mother saying she had to talk to me about something important. Being the drama queen that I am I joked that she probably
found out she was adopted or that my grandfather wasn't really her dad. I called her back and she told me that the day she
searched through my grandmother's room she had found letters proving that she was not my grandfather's daughter. She then
began to tell me all the lies my grandmother had told her in order to keep this secret. My grandmother had been giving my
mother the run around for years whenever my mom would ask her for her birth certificate. She would say she lost the birth
certificate when they moved from Brooklyn to Long Island and she lied about the hospital she was born in. My grandmother used
to work in a bar and had stolen someone else's identity in order to get welfare money. She then checked into a hospital under
the alias of this other woman and had my mother. My mother found out this other woman's identity through the letter's and
paper work she had found in my grandmother's closet. That is how my mother finally got her real birth certificate. The twist
is my mother has no way of proving she is the woman on that birth certificate because my grandmother gave her another name
on the certificate and my mom has lived her whole life using the name she has now. I absorbed all this info my mother was
telling me and although it angered me and I was a little hurt I think I was more upset for my mother because although it affected
my life it affected her more directly. I hated hearing the pain in her voice. For two weeks she had been avoiding my grandmother
and I didn't know why until that night. Now I had to hold this secret until my mother was ready to confront my grandmother
with it. My grandmother and I had always had a strained relationship. She had raised me because my mom was young when she
had me so in turn she was more my mother then my grandmother. My whole life I was overprotected and was not alowed to do a
lot of things most kid's my age were doing. I did them any way but there was much sneaking around and sneaking out of the
house. I had learned to be very manipulative towards my grandmother. I would be the perfect child during the day but at night
when she was nowhere around I was the normal rebelious teenager just taken to the extreme because of all her rules. I felt
like I was paying for my mother's mistakes and I had always resented my grandmother for trying to steal my childhood away
from me. My mother felt that my grandmother should figure out what was wrong on her own and that she should tell my mom the
truth. So my mom was not talking to my grandmother and I had to hear my grandmother everyday complain about how my mom was
acting and her asking me if I knew what was wrong. I called Matt in Boston and told him what was going on. I told him that
when he was ready to move out of Tara's I wanted to come with him and get a place with him. I couldn't take hiding what I
knew from my grandmother and I honestly felt like I hated her more then before. When Matt came home he had to move out of
Tara's house. He moved further out east to his friend Jai's house. He spent most of his time at my house though. One night
after sex we were talking about ex's and he brought up his most recent ex, Louis. Over the summer Tara had told me that Louis
died in a motorcycle accident. I kept this to myself because I wanted Matt to tell me himself and I didn't want to stir up
any emotion's if he hadn't dealt with it yet. I asked Matt why they broke up and he said "he died". I then said "okay but
that's not why you broke up" Matt then said "Yea but that pretty much ended it for good." He then explained that they broke
up because Louis was escorting and that he died in an accident. I asked him if he had dealt with his death and he said he
had. We left it at that and went to sleep. The next night we went to Lux which I thought was weird that Matt wanted to go
cause in the past whenever I had asked him to go he said that it brought back to many bad memories (ie. Louis). I talked to
Yahyra about it and she thought it was weird too. I told her I felt like he finally told me about Louis and it was like he
was trying to face all his demons about that relationship by going to Lux with me. That may not have been the case but thats
how it felt. I was also nervous because I knew Evan would be there as usual and I was afraid of a repeat performance of the
Andrew saga. I met Matt and Jai there and we danced and hung out around the lounge area. Evan showed up as expected and had
his eye on me the whole night. His eyes were like daggers I could feel him watching me and saw him through the corner of my
eye.Then while Matt and I were dancing, Evan got on the dance floor right next to me and started dancing with his friend Doug
acting like he didn't see me. After a while I got fed up and tapped Evan's shoulder and said hi. Evan smiled the fakest smile
ever and said hi and I wanted to rip his head off. In the bathroom I came face to face with Evan and told him I didn't know
what his problem was but he wasnt making anybody jealous dancing with Doug cause I knew Doug was not into him and that they
were friends. I left the bathroom and was pretty much ready to go home. My night was ruined and I was an emotional headcase
not only because of Evan but because of what was going on at home. Matt thought I was mad at him and I tried to asure him
that I wasnt as much as I could at that moment and I left for home. Our relationship was about to be tested but would we make
it through what was about to come out.
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